Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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