hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
