I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
