that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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