You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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