now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
