You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My bed smells like the plague
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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