everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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