he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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