All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
