Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my shit smells like andre
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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