There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
