well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
