My room smells like vodka and shame
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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