hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am one with the molecules
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