maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
