so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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