It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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