do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
