Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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