I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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