...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
