We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
