i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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