Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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