ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
