She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
