At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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