I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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