how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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