Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
