My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Houston, we have a squirter
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
