What did we do last night that was yellow?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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