I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
