You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
