I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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