I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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