yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
