what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
