i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
