How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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