Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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