i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't deserve a penis
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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