Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
