Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
