Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
