her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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