She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
