omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
