he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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